Browsing Category

Personal Story

Personal Story

The Spiritual Truth About Cats and Dogs

My fascination with cats and dogs are messages from my Higher Self about who I am and what I need to work on.

I have been pet sitting for cat and dog owners in Paris, France for over a month. Caring for animals isn’t anything new. I’ve been doing it for almost my entire life, either as my own pets or for others.

One of my most intense pet sitting assignment was in Ithaca, New York, during the brutal winter of 2015. The family lived off-grid, surviving on well water, wood-burning stoves, and wind-generated electricity. I took care of their three dogs, two chinchillas, and eight chickens. The dogs were cute, playful, and protective of the land they lived on.

Dogs are my totem animal – the core of who I am. Dogs are pack animals, which means they are community oriented. They protect their pack.

 Community is important to me.

Dogs come to me in my dreams often. I sometimes see the exact breed of dog being walked after dreaming about it the night before. The funniest dream was when a group of Rottweilers, standing on their hind legs, cheered and clapped as I walked a tightrope above them.

In my waking life, dogs get excited when I walk by. After my first reiki attunement, dogs seemed to notice me more. One dog stopped using the bathroom and ran up to me for attention. Its owner was baffled. I laughed to myself because I knew it was my vibration the dog was after.

Cats are my spirit animal, providing guidance. Cats rest a lot. My angels and spirit guides tell me almost every day to rest. I’m getting the hang of it.

Cats are intuitive and are sensitive to energy, which means they are keenly aware of people and their surroundings. They are independent and choose when they want to act.

Abundance flows easily into my life when I am more cat-like. Living in Paris has been stress-free. I have everything I need.

I thought my yearning for cats and dogs was about me wanting a pet. It wasn’t. My Higher Self, angels and spirit guides were giving me messages about how to balance my life. I need to spend more time resting, playing, and trusting my intuition. This makes sense given that I am an empath. It’s vital in how we keep ourselves healthy.

Life is hard when I don’t listen to Spirit. I used to work traditional 9-5 jobs with a lot of overtime. I accumulated stress in my neck, back and shoulders. Anger and impatience were my normal behaviors in those days. My social life was chaotic. None of that is characteristic of cats and dogs.

The stress and body pain disappeared when I made a commitment to work for myself.

Moving to Paris was about starting anew, building community based on who and what nurtures my lifestyle of resting, playing, and trusting my intuition. France is also home from previous life times. I was happy then. I’m happy now.

The Universe takes care of me as I take care of myself. There is work to be done, but it’s what I love to do.

I’m learning that I can have it all, but it’s only accessible when I work with Spirit.

Personal Story

How I Healed My Inner Child and Moved to France

If you stood outside my childhood home you would have seen a single-family home in Fort Hood, Texas with a manicured lawn, complete with plastic sunflower lawn ornaments, surrounded by a white picket fence. The wood-paneled station wagon was parked in the garage, and a garden and swing set in the backyard. Inside were my biological parents married to each other and my baby brother.

On the surface, my childhood was the American Dream.

My father’s career in the Army afforded us what could be called a middle-class living. On a material level, life was good. I was surprised with a canopy bedroom set in the third grade; received new school clothes and supplies every year; and every meal – breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks – was packed with choices from my mom’s multiple $200 shopping sprees at the commissary.

The emotional, mental and spiritual parts were twisted.

Writer and activist bell hooks stated that black girls learn sexism at home before they learn racism. I cried when I read this in my Women’s Studies class at Texas Woman’s University because she was right. I felt like a second-class citizen my entire childhood but didn’t have the words to articulate it.

Spirituality and the spirit world were not discussed. Looking back, I saw spirits with my physical eyes; received messages in dreams about what was going on in waking world; I could sense when something or someone wasn’t in alignment with me; and my claircognizance (clear knowing) was on point. Whenever my brother asked for something he lost I would tell him with 100% accuracy where it was.

I was highly sensitive and my psychic abilities were strong as a child. All of that changed when I was 8-years old.

I had to pass through the garage when I wanted to move my sunshine yellow and pea green bicycle from the fenced-in backyard to the street. My mother was in the garage the day her car seemed to be parked too close to the wall. I stopped to access my options. Before I could grasp my next move I hear her yelling at me then she slapped my face hard with an open hand. From that moment on I thought my mother was crazy.

It often slipped from my lips that my mother’s authoritarian parenting style was like Hitler because she scrutinized and ‘corrected’ my behavior and creativity to her liking. Social studies was the only reason I didn’t make honor roll in middle school, so my mother ordered me to bring all of my books home every day. One day I didn’t have homework in any class and decided to not take books home. Being backed against a wall while being yelled at and beaten with a thick, leather belt across the chest, stomach and hips was terrifying and painful. I can still see that moment as if it were happening now.

Playing the drums was a passion when it came to choosing an instrument for middle band. My mom said no without any explanation. I had to choose between flute and clarinet. Whenever I asked why the reasons changed: I don’t want that noise in my house. I don’t think you can make money doing that. Sometimes there was no answer. I felt in the marrow of my bones it was because I was a girl. My brother was allowed to choose the drums.

My mother continued her controlling ways when I was in the working world. I once shared with her about an incident at work. I don’t recall what it was. The next day my supervisor told me mother called and wanted to know everything and how I was involved. I was embarrassed and stopped sharing where I worked and work experiences.

I spent maybe fifteen years waiting for my mother to die. Thoughts of her funeral and cremated often cycled through my mind. I thought having her ashes sprinkled in the Pacific Ocean would bring her peace.

I wanted peace.

My father was the passive parent. He once told my mother, in my presence during high school, to let me make decisions for myself. When he wasn’t at work, my father was doing yard work, working on cars, building something with his hands, or watching television.

My childhood experiences were mixed with material support, alienation of affection, and low self-worth. I cared for other people more than I cared for myself. It was exhausting but it was what I learned, internalized and behaved.

My spiritual abilities seemed to resurface in 2003. I was overcome by thoughts and emotions that turned out to not be mine. I discovered that I was an empath.

As it turned out, my mother and father have psychic abilities that surpass professionally trained psychics. They never talked about it. When I realized this, I understood how my mother always seemed to know about events before they happened. Rather than express it in words, she would find other things to do to be late for the event. She was supposed to be at Luby’s in Killeen, Texas the day the massacre happened. She was late. Her friend who waited for her made it out safely.

I thought my mother was a snob because she turned her nose up at people she met. But she knew if a person was worth her time the moment she laid eyes on them. And she was correct. My mother can even astral project into other people’s dreams. It freaked me out when she first did it to me, around 2011. It’s happened several times since then. She would allude to something she learned but went silent when I asked her about it.

My father is like Dumbledore. Spirit nudged me in 2015 to ask him about his abilities. He hears spirits internally and externally; sees them with his physical and third eye; feels low vibrational energy; and he communicates with his parents who are in the spirit world. He kept it a secret because he thought he was the only one who had these abilities.

Had my parents grown up understanding that their abilities were normal, or someone in their adult life to help them along, my life may have turned out differently.

Everything is energy, even psychic abilities. Strong abilities, when ignored, can manifest into unhealthy behavior or illnesses. My mother was diagnosed with Schizoid Personality Disorder. In the metaphysical world, medical diagnoses like my mom’s are common amongst those who are ‘untrained psychics.’

When psychic abilities are recognized, understood and focused, the person can use them in healthy ways. Socializing becomes manageable and pleasant. Talking about psychic abilities and the messages received validates the person’s experiences.

My psychic abilities became more manageable when I received my reiki 1 attunement in 2014. During the 21-day chakra cleanse that happens after an attunement helped me understand that my aura over my solar plexus chakra – the area of self-worth – had a tear in it. As that healed, my confidence and ideas about self-worth improved. The reiki 2 class taught me how to heal inner child trauma. It brought up memories, emotions, and thoughts that I had forgotten.

Free will allowed me to decide if I wanted to listen to the messages from Spirit. Often times I did not. Ancestors called me hard headed. I laughed it off.

I wanted to hold on to old behavior and move forward. I was like a boat exhausting the engine because the trash was stuck in the propeller.

France loomed in the background my entire life. I loved can-can dancing as a child, pretending to wave my layered skirt and screech like the ladies. As an adult, I daydreamed of decorating my apartment dining rooms like French cafés. The pull got stronger in 2004 when I wanted to either be in France or Francophone Africa. Dreams of France started in 2010. I saw myself taking pictures of different buildings in Paris.

I learned that France was a happy and creative place for me in a previous life.

My visit to Paris in January 2017 was grounding, happy and creative. I spent the week understanding what it meant to move to France. When I returned to the U.S. I found myself planning and taking small steps rather than big leaps. Then I realized the longer I took the longer it would be before I could live my joy completely.

Then I let go.

I healed inner child issues related to love and money, which both are about self-worth. I learned to love myself first then share whatever energy I have with others. I am a first-class citizen in this respect.

As a creative person, I gained more confidence and take more risks. My psychic abilities are strong and continue to unfold. As a medium, I communicate with animals, plants, minerals (gemstones), angels, and spirit guides.

My angels and spirit guides helped me when I had a few small panic attacks. They told me to go for walks to burn off the energy. Affirmations also helped as I donated and gave away clothes, furniture and books.

  • Je habite en France.
  • I am living my joy.
  • I am completely free.

I returned to France on June 16 to spend the summer relaxing, enjoying France, and creating new projects to share with women and children who are empaths or highly sensitive.

I am happy.

I am free.

I am living my joy.

Piyushshelare Vipassana Meditation Center Creative Commons
Personal Story

My 10-Day Vipassana Meditation Experience

I took my first 10-day S.N. Goenka vipassana meditation course in 2011 at the Shelburne Falls, MA center. I was living in Texas when a friend first introduced me to vipassana, ten years prior. I took the tour, read the pamphlets, watched Doing Time, Doing Vipassana, and listened to people share their experiences. My response was “nope!”

A stressful experience with a neighbor changed my mind. I felt that it was time to release my suffering, or at least learn how to chip away at it.

I went to the meditation center with a former colleague, who was already a vipassana meditator. This was his second 10-day course. The center provides a ride share for all students; we carpooled with a man, also a seasoned meditator, driving from Ohio to the center. The ride was fun, even with the two telling me that I was going to starve and get no sleep. I laughed it off because I was looking forward to the course.

The parking lot at the center was packed tightly with cars. I later learned that there were around one hundred and thirty meditators, almost one hundred of them were female. The evening consisted of us checking in, locking away personal items (phones, computers, purses, etc.), eating dinner, and getting an orientation about conduct.

The course requires a 24-hour noble silence – no verbal or non-verbal communication with other students. We could reach out to assistant teachers during scheduled times to ask questions about vipassana, or course managers for emergencies. We were given a chance to leave before the course began. No one budged.

Shockingly, I bounced up at 4 AM every morning, ready to sit for the first hour before breakfast, when the managers rung the tingsha bell in the hallway. I felt spoiled having delicious vegetarian breakfast, lunch and dinner ready each day.

Anapana (breath) meditation was introduced and practiced for the first three days. My dreams were wacky during that time. On Day 3, I dreamed of hanging out with a group of women in Las Vegans, singing about a vipassana center in Georgia I knew nothing about before this course. We then shifted into vipassana (insight) on day four, scanning our bodies, being aware of sensations that came up then letting them go. I had visions of snakes on Day 5 and cried on another day. Looking back, I know this was emotional release.

Noble silence ended on Day 10. I thought hard about what I wanted to say first. It seemed superficial, but mustered an “okay.” The Shelburne center then still had shared rooms. The five other women and I figured out who each of us were and had dinner, laughed about our wild dreams, thoughts of leaving, and trying to convince ourselves that it was a vacation in order to stay until the end. Two women at another table were inspired to sing and beat box about their vipassana experience. The entire room became silent once again, this time for the entertainment.

Since my first course, I have taken two additional 10-day courses; served a 10-day course, which had two hundred students; and returned for an 8-day Satipatthana Sutta course.

In 2013, I met a woman a single mother of two who had a full-time job and was in a doctoral program at my second 10-day course. She sat for an hour twice a day. I was inspired and did the same every day for a year.

My vipassana experiences were wonderful, or in meditation-speak, I had good sits. I learned that mindfulness, as a technique, helped me discern what I consume – food, media, conversations, etc., — and share with others. Maintaining a regular meditation practice strengthens my mindfulness, regardless of how long I sit.

Personal Story

Manifesting Ice Cream Money

I like to write in the park when the weather is nice. This particular day the sky was clear blue and the sun was at nearly ninety degrees, which was a blessing after the days of rain and threat of more snow. Recreation Park was calling my name, so I listened. An ice cream truck pulled into one of the two parking lots as I arrived. I thought about how I loved ice cream as a kid, especially the vanilla ice cream that came in a plastic cone with a big blue piece of bubble gum at the bottom.

The picnic table where I sat was in the center of the park. The playground, carousel, swimming pool, baseball diamond, and both parking lots were visible. My favorite Hemlock tree was two feet away. It must have been someone else’s favorite tree too because a strand of Christmas lights hung from it.

At some point, I saw a young black girl, maybe twelve-years old, tall, thin, with Afro puffs on either side of her head, wearing a black T-shirt, denim shorts, and an indigo blue watch. She caught my eye earlier when she first walked to the park before disappearing behind the playground several yards in front of me. As she walked across the park, I noticed that she was headed in my direction. I thought she was going to pass by and continue moving. She didn’t – she sat at the table with me.

Strangers used to talk to me and share their sorrows then walk away. I later learned that I wasn’t protecting my energy. This crossed my mind as the young girl sat and let out a huff of frustration. I looked at her, smiled to raise my vibration then said hello. She responded in kind. The empath in me needed to know why she was sad. “I lost my ice cream money,” she said. I suggested that she retrace her steps and recheck her pockets, which she did earlier to no avail. The girl’s sulking and huffing continued.

There was a lesson for me to learn, so I waited for the defining moment. “The money will turn up, relax and breath, you’ll find it,” I told her then visualized the money appearing in her pocket. She smiled then walked away. Before I could assess the experience I heard, “I found it!” I turned to see her smiling with the dollar in her hand. “It was right here,” pointing at the ground maybe two yards away, nowhere near the spot where she first entered the park. Spirit moved that money so she would find it.

Personal Story

Transitioning From Academic to Spiritual Teacher

I’m making a transition from academia to spiritual teacher. Teaching has always been something that I loved, but I only thought of it in terms of academia.

Learning is fun, and I plan to do it for the rest of my life. Academia has had its highs. My training as an anthropologist was the most fun. The late Dr. Larry Naylor started the program from which I graduated. His mission was to create a department that was like family. He did exactly that – faculty, staff and students ate lunch and dinner together. And we went to the same clubs. Anthropologists are a wild bunch.

Although I enjoyed some of my experiences as an academic, I also found being in the classroom uneasy. The reality is that I was feeling everyone’s anxiety. I can ground, shield and clear my energy, but putting on a suit of armor every morning is bothersome.

I was drawn to energy healing when my long-time friend Drew mentioned the book, Hands of Light. I could clearly see the book in my 3rd Eye. At some point afterwards I learned about reiki and felt an uncontrollable, yet pleasing, pull towards it.

The last six years has been a process of learning about and practicing meditation, psychic development, reiki, and other healing modalities. The angels remind me often to share my passions. I love energy healing. I started teaching reiki last year after the Pleidians visited me in a dream. There has been a pattern to the types of people I teach.

  • Birth parents and mothers.
  • People who love children.
  • LGBTQIA + community.
  • People of Color.
  • Energy healers, spiritual teachers, and creative entrepreneurs.

Basically, these people are a reflection of me. (I’m kid-free but love children.) I have learned a lot about myself as I teach someone new.

I foresee a mass exodus in the academy. There are many students who turn to art and energy healing to balance their lives. Maybe some will turn academia on its head and start teaching or insisting on an integration of mind and spirit. I know of a few PhD’s who left the ivory tower to become spiritual teachers and never looked back.

My spirit family has been helping me to let go of what does not serve me so that I live happy as a spiritual teacher. I can say that teaching energy healing is a lot more fun. I’m not turning back.